2004-01-29 - 11:04 a.m.
i'm becoming increasingly on-edge now days. the slightest things will piss me off into a rage of pen smashing, box throwing, and paper tearing.
yesterday, i was shelving stuff at work, and this stupid OWL comes up from behind and just assumes i'm not doing anything of relevance and asks me if i can help her with something. it being my job, i oblige the dumb fuck. i tell her we don't have the book and that i can try and order it, but she declines. so she's standing there looking at a diet book food guide by Dr. Phil (wha? who the fuck wants a diet book from a fucking not-doctor/physical trainer person?). she asks if the book comes in hardcover and the three of us standing there all tell her it doesn't. so she's leafing through it like she doesn't hear us and says "i thought there'd be recipies in here" or something dumb like that. i tell her it's just a food guide and she's still leafing through it like there's a hidden section just for her with recipies. i'm getting fucking fed up with her so i just tell her "yeah, i've never had to go on a diet because a little bit of exercise and a good metabolism (which comes with exercise) has worked pretty well." Sio and Cindi were pretty shocked at that. it felt good to be an asshole. Sio wasn't too happy, he pulled me to the side when the lady walked away and told me i'm not supposed to imply that women are fat. i told him i'm beginning to really hate him because i like him so much. he's so fucking perfect that he only reminds me of what i'm not. i want to be standing on the same moral ground as him, but it's not attainable to me, so i'm jealous and i want him to go away.
i'm just a big fucking mess.
i'm telling you guys, i think there's a hormonal imbalance going on in my brain because i wasn't this edgy before. even my co-workers have noticed it. it's like, "jeez ryan. calm down." it's fucking horrible, i'm mumbling half-audibly at work how customers can't put a fucking book back because they've got their god damned latte in one hand because it's their sign that "yeah, i'm a sociallite" which is all so important to their personal image. YOU'RE ALL FUCKING FAKES!
see? i'm just ranting, no single chain of thought. FUCK!
i hate every one and every thing. stupid medical advancements making people live longer. that's not what we need! we need to kill more people, because then there would be less stupidity abounding in this world. we can start with all the fucking white people who move here to retire... like peggy. stupid ass bitch. i hope she gets run over by a fucking library cart at work.
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