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2004-12-03 - 4:50 p.m.

i've discovered how i deal with stress. what i do is i tell myself to not stress out, and in doing so, to prove to myself that i'm not freaking out, i calmly turn on the TV or the playstation or go on the internet and fuck around for a few hours like i would normally do. and then, i realize "holy fuck, i've just wasted X-hours doing nothing intelligent" and then i freak out. and then the whole stupid cycle starts again.

luckily, i managed to sort of catch it in time and i got a jump start on some of my projects due next week. well... not really. i need to take a huge step forward in my linguistics paper. that one is going to be a major bitch and a half. my religion paper though, it's one of those where i can do it if i have time alone, a computer, and my books and shit like that. i've already put down about three pages of text, which is almost half. and i'm still only on my first (out of five) case studies. so i figure i'm in okay, not great or even good, but okay shape for that one. but fuckin' a, logic just got a lot fucking harder to do this week. the shit she's giving us is exponentially harder. and the exponent isn't a zero or a one. it's like, one of those numbers where you need more than one hand to count 'em.

fuck... i hate finals time. neither me nor randi is in particularly good shape either right now. she's probably just as swamped as i am right now. so much so that we don't really have time to talk to each other much on the phone. hell, i've been working so much and so tired that i don't even have the time or energy to masturbate at my usual rate. don't ask what it is. just a fair warning to y'all. but can you imagine that? me? not having the energy to masturbate? it's freakin' insane. sometimes even i suprise myself.

i wonder if i could live without a tv? i do pretty well with the espn radio, my cds, and the internet. i mean, i found out that Urban Meyer is supposedly going to Florida instead of Notre Dame on the internet before i saw it on ESPN today. so it's not like i wouldn't be getting the news any quicker if i had tv over the internet. i guess the only thing i'd miss about not having a tv would be watching sporting events that aren't on the radio. like i wouldn't be able to watch football because they only broadcast the 49ers games here.

oh who am i kidding, i'd probably hate not having tv. but at least i'd get my homework done a lot sooner i bet.

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