2005-09-15 - 12:16 a.m.
wow... you want to talk fucked up... let me tell you about saturday night!
after work on saturday, me and my coworker, dhyani, went to oki's house. the two of us were there on labor day and she got drunk while i played designated dave. this week, it was my turn to get drunk so the two of us were going to sleep there. so anyway, we get there and i'm all stoked to get fuck faced really quickly. anyway, skipping the foreplay, we're upstairs with a lot of alcohol on a table and some big ass shot glasses filled with 151 for me. right off the bat i do two shots of 151 in a row. that got to me pretty quickly because a) i'm a light weight pussy, and b) i've been dry for the past three months or so. anyway, about 5 minutes later i'm ready for another shot of 151. so i take it. by now i'm getting really belligerent. i was challenging oki and nick to a fight. for those of you who don't know nick, he's about 6'1" and almost 300 lbs. me? i'm 5'4" and 130 lbs on a fat day soaking wet. but yeah, i was slapping oki in the head and verbally abusing a laughing nick. after about 10 or 15 minutes i was ready for my fourth shot of 151 and a fight. i got the shot of 151, but no takers-on...ers. anyway, dhyani wanted to keep drinking so she grabbed a bottle of gold schlagger (she'd been keeping up with me, but she's 10 times better at drinking than i'll ever be) and i grabbed my trusty bottle of 151. so now we're up to four shots and a swig if 151 in about 20 minutes. and then 10 or so minutes later, oki wanted to take a shot of gold schlagger but no one else wanted to so i called everyone a pussy and i took a shot of gold schlagger with him. and then everything went downhill from there. after sitting there for a few minutes i walked to the bathroom and then i started praying at the alter of porcelain. yeah, so i started to throw up in the toilet and then i passed out. oki said i fell asleep hugging the toilet. and then i woke up on the floor throwing up but too tired to move and so i passed out again... in my own vomit. yeah, i was fucked up. oki said that while i was lying on the floor he was talking to me and i was flicking him off like a drunk bastard. i vaguely remember doing that, but not what was being said. regardless, i woke up for a few seconds and decided i wasn't going to drink anymore before i passed out into my own puke again. sometime during the night oki gave me a towel to put under my head and paper towels to put over the puke on the floor. i also woke up and walked to the closet to get a towel to put over myself during that time too. but dawg... i was fucked up.
the next morning i was so hung over too i threw up again and couldn't even watch football. i couldn't watch the opening weekend of football people! so i spent the whole morning talking (quietly) to dhyani. she was fine and sober, i was hung over and still a little drunk. it was fun. but i did sober up in time to watch the colts-ravens game.
oh yeah, and sometime in between when i woke up for good and the game i did watch, i found a voicemail on my phone asking if i could go in and help them close. ha! i called in and i was talking to C Jaye and i told him what had happened. he called me his new hero.
and that was my weekend. my oh so proud weekend.
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