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2007-07-26 - 12:21 a.m.

i'm really really tired nowadays...

i've been going in to work at like 830ish the past few days so i can work at my own pace.

only problem is if i see donna, i end up talking to her until like 930 or 945 which basically cuts away any "work at your own pace" time. but you know what? i don't care. it's my time. i think i deserve it.

so yeah, today, i talked to donna till 945. i told her about my grandma. she makes the third person i've told. i told blane, lisa, and her. telling her was the best person i told though. i think it was because i so wanted to tell her. i got a chance to and it made me feel better.

despite the fact that our conversation ended up where we were talking about her pending divorce, it was all i needed. i just needed to tell her. and i think she needs to talk about her situation more than i do. for me, a lot of the time, it's more or less i just need to say something once and i'll be okay for a while. i got my chance and i feel better about it.

plus i think i'm too busy working for it to matter.

god damn... i realized i hit my 40-something hours already for the week. and it's only wednesday. granted i've spent about an hour or two talking to donna on "the clock." i think the point is moot though.

she's so beautiful...

we spend most of our mornings talking about her, me, people we know... it's like we're just getting to know each other.

i showed koji that i got her number on a starbucks napkin today. he said i was his new hero. i did that under false pretense because it was more of a "i'll give you my number incase you need to talk to someone." not a "here's my number, i think we should mate."

whatever though...

i've got such a school boy crush on her. it's like when a boy has a crush on the teacher. she's 17 years older than me, she could've been my teacher at some point actually...

i don't think i'm going to make it to birthday bash... :-(

i also don't think donna should ever find this diary. she probably wouldn't appreciate me talking about her in here so candidly.

i should go to sleep. i have to meet blane in my store tomorrow morning early... i guess i won't be able to let donna treat me to a cup of coffee tomorrow morning. boo...

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