2007-09-03 - 10:07 p.m.
the thing i remember most about my sister's wedding is drinking at 9 am.
what i do remember is that my parents got me up at like 6 or something in the morning hawaii time so we could do picture taking and stuff before the actual ceremony. my sister had the ceremony at the YMCA that her and jesse, my new brother-in-law, met at.
after the ceremony, which was done as an indian union ceremony or something but is comepletely recognized by the state of washington, they had the reception. once we got to the reception, it was all over for me. i sat at the bar, drank my budweiser and watched football the rest of the time.
well, the rest of the time that i was awake.
i ended up passed out in the hallway outside of the banquet hall in a chair that was just there. i watched football with jimmy, one of my cousin's husband. we watched part of the UCLA vs. Standford game (he's an alumnus of UCLA). why else would anyone watch anyone play stanford?
i also made small talk with some of the guests who knew me as erin's brother. i was a real bitch though the whole morning before i got beer in me... and took a nap. when jesse's sister introduced herself to me, i was just really surly. i told her i was pissed at them for making the wedding when it was because of the football and the time and you know the rest of the reasons. but later that day, when jesse's sister's husband introduced himself to me, i told him "you chose a good time to meet me. ask your wife." i was pleasantly buzzed, somewhat rested, and in a much better mood. plus i had some nicotine too. i was drunk enough to the point where i was craving a smoke. it was so good to drink and smoke. i don't plan on making a habit out of it, infact, after i smoked what i needed to, i didn't even look at the pack again. i basically wasted $6 on like, four shitty ultra-light feeling cigs. but whatever.
i even got my mom to take a few puffs. she said it was neat.
but yeah. that was the most memorable thing about my trip. getting drunk at 9 am hawaii time.
i wonder if that was bad?
especially considering jesse is sorta an alcoholic. like everyone else is nice about it and doesn't drink in his presenece, but i just don't care. i don't really understand addiction. it's that inability to be completely empathetic to other people that was what led up to me and randi breaking up. i swear to god, it was a fight about that, actually it was about jesse too, that led to her not talking to me for a while and then well, the rest is history.
that's something that's been on my mind lately. i'm having a difficult time being single. sometimes i lay in my bed at night just dwelling on how i feel about being single. it really sucks. i hate thinking... well, more like i hate dwelling.
i was talking to carlie tonight. i told her there's this girl that works at B&N who i think is kinda cute, and i think i might like to get to know her, but well... i don't know how to approach girls, especially if they're working. i guess in my mind, i don't want to be just another customer hitting on them. i hate it when people do that to my employees because it's like they're just creepy. i don't want to be that guy. i'm so self-conscience, it's terrible. carlie suggested i just ask her for help and that'll get my foot in the door. problem is i don't read anything anyone else reads. i read sports books. who the fuck reads sports books? the fiction i read is highly limited. plus i've got a shit load of books that i should go back to anyway. i so hate myself for being so co-dependent.
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