2008-03-13 - 4:36 p.m.
i'm on vacation right now.
it's kinda nice not doing anything.
too bad i have stuff to do like move.
moving sucks... even though i don't have a whole bunch of stuff, it still sucks.
it's weird, i thought i had more stuff, but at the same time i guess it makes sense that i don't have a lot of stuff.
most of the stuff i spend my money on i guess is disposable stuff like food and coffee and beer.
all i'm really left with are clothes, cd's, books/magazines, and video games. the clothes don't pile up as much because i buy expensive clothes more or less so there aren't a whole bunch of them. the cd's are pile up, and so do the books/magazines, but i'm throwing away magazines more than ever. the video games get sold and turned into new video games. yay for recycling.
i don't like house rules, they really cramp my style. i can't move anything big into the place w/o 48-hours advance notice. so i'll be living either out of boxes or at home with a fraction of my stuff.
i guess this place isn't home anymore either because i've got my own place now. i guess it's my parent's place now. although that place is also their place because their name is on the loan too.
yeah, i'm buying the place by the way.
it's a studio two buildings up the street from where i live right now.
i'm very apprehensive.
i'm also very aware of how my lifestyle will be changing. no more spending friviolosly. dating will be... no my dating life won't change because i didn't have a dating life. let's see, how's that worked out...
ka young/yeung: no second date by choice.
alia: no second date by choice.
bre: apparently not even a first date; not my choice.
candace: not a first date by default of other people being invited.
at least i've still got my healt... nope, don't really have that anymore either.
i went to a walk-a-thon at kamiloiki elementary (where donnna sends her kids) to help out. at the end of it, i was making fun of donna's daughter and so her and her friends were chasing me around the field, and thank god i can take a hit because i was gassed running around for just a few minutes. it wan't as bad as when i had to push my car out of the street when i stalled and wouldn't re-start on me. i felt like throwing up after that, but god damn am i out of shape. i even quit smoking (again...).
i've still got that ominous feeling about this year too. something about it still feels like it's all going to come apart on me. thank god it's already march. i'm almost 1/4 of the way through the year.
i went to go talk to dana the other night. dana was this girl that i swear to god used to give me butterflies. i think i've said that in here before. anyway... i get the impression she doesn't like me that way. when ever i come off like i want to ask her something, she backs off. so she either has a bf or she just doesn't find me attractive enough. my guess is that she doesn't find me attractive because she was very evasive about the bf question the first time she re-entered my life. so yeah... fuckit, i probably never had a chance with her anyway.
and yes, she used to give me butterflies from when i worked at the bookstore, which is when i was still going out with randi. but i don't really care because i don't feel like i mean shit to randi anymore anyway. it's taken me a really really long time to realize that she doesn't want to be my friend unless she needs something.
i think i've addressed this issue in here before too.
i've also removed two other people from my life.
i've kicked rich out of my personal life. after he blocked any chance i might've had with bre by teasing her, even after i asked him to leave her alone, i straight told him he fucked up way hard and that he's dead to me in anything but a professional setting. i even walked out of the conversation we were having discussing it because it didn't matter what he had to say.
i wonder how that's going to affect my relationship with blane. i know he's close to rich, and he's even closer to bre. i know he knows i had/have a big/huge/enormous/"schmall kine" crush on bre too. now he's got a personal rift with his most senior manager and one of his younger managers.
okay, i just got off the phone and i lost my chain of thought so i'm ending this.
�
�
