2008-08-05 - 11:59 p.m.
oh my... things are strange...
remember how i was saying that chelsea had a crush on me? i told bre that and now i think she might be trying to hook us up.
wow, what a difference a week-ish makes.
so i like to tease chelsea about her liking panda express, because we all know their food sucks. i even started calling her "panda bowl" (mostly because "two-entree plate to go" is too long). but anyway, i called kahala today to get their numbers and chelsea picked up: "Hey Panda Bowl. Four o'clock numbers?"
"Pft... you need to buy me one before I give them to you."
"Are you asking me to take you on a date?"
and from that, i turned that into chelsea hitting on me. while it's not anything more than playful bantering, i like to turn things into a lot bigger things. and so, with that story, i told bre that chelsea asked me to take her on a date.
anyway, when i text'd that to bre, she called me (at the store) to ask about it. bre told me i should go out with chelsea because she already probably possibly maybe likes me and that she'd probably be a good match for me because she's a mature 19-yrs-old. bre even offered to set up a date for me. meanwhile i spent the conversation trying to downplay that because i don't want to date a 19-yr-old chick. i keep going back to the fact that i broke up with randi and bre when they were 20-turning-21 so me and chelsea would only have a year or so before we broke up. granted the circumstances might be different because the reasons why i broke up with randi and dhyani were way opposites. randi was because i wasn't focused on the future, dhyani was because i was too focused on having a committed relationship while she wanted to party.
bre tells me that chelsea is beyond that party girl side and that she knows what she wants and stuff like that. i hardly know anything about her but i guess that's what dating's about. from what i do know about her, i'm not sure i'd be interested. first of all, there's the panda express (ye-uck). and blane always brings up that she likes pokemon cards, buffy, and harry potter. me? i like to drink and read about sports and not harry potter and not watch buffy. plus she's 19. that's the huge hang-up for me. well, that and the un-finished business thing with bre. it's mostly just pride for me at this point. i already know i'm not interested in her. like i said, i didn't feel the spark when i spent that day with her. it's more or less just about i want to prove to myself that i could do it.
okay, i'm kinda trying to convince myself that i don't want to date chelsea because i don't know. i usually go through this phase where i try to unconvince myself i like someone. i remember i did that with dhyani too. i don't remember about randi though. anyway... i'm kinda already sure i'm going to eventually ask chelsea to do something someday. it'd probably be all off-the-cuff because that's how i do. like it'd probably be like me rollin' through to pick-up or drop-off something and then i'd be like "hey, you wanna go eat a panda bowl or something?" and she'd be all like "are you asking me out?" all incredulously. and i'd be all like "if that's how you want to put it on your myspace, then i guess" as i try to downplay it 'cause i'm cooler than cool (ICE COLD!!!). and she'd be like "well, i can't because i'm working" and i'd be like "oh yeah. well if you ever want to buy me a panda bowl, you know where i work." and she'd be all like "but you asked me out! why should i pay?!" and i'd be all like "alright, i guess i could pay. but then you better throw that first game of pokemon cards we play after!" and then she'd be like "haha yeah, whatever!" and i'd be like "here, call me" as i hand her a card with my number on it and walk out. and then the GA that's working with her would be like "what the fuck just happened?" and she'd be like "" ...i don't know what she'd say at that point.
actually, it might not play out like that at all because i don't know how she talks other than in short spurts over the phone. i've never actually had anything resembling more than small talk with her. but it sounds convincing in my brain. and btw, i don't actually talk like that with the "and then she'd be like and then i'd be like and then she'd be like" because that's stoopid.
oh god i want to fucking slit my wrists for writing "stoopid."
but i have a feeling bre's going to keep pressuring me to go out with chelsea. meh... we'll see. she is cute. and she does like football (the dolphins though? god... at least i don't have to worry about her team beating mine). i also know that devin wouldn't make fun of me for liking chelsea because he made this face when i told him i thought that melissa was attractive and that i was crushing on bre. oddly enough, he really liked randi the one time he met her. he seemed to think she was perfect for me. nm that she's all disinterested in being my friend. thats okay because she'll never talk to me again because she don't have my phone number anymore. neither does brett for that matter. oh well.
i guess i'm still a little bitter. i should get over that.
something to work on.
god i'm so fucked up right now. but not from alcohol! i've had like three cans of red bull in the last 12-ish hours. and two of them were the medium sized cans too so i'm kinda f-ed up right now.
hmm... positives for chelsea:
1) she has a nice car
2) she lives on her own so she's responsible
3) she's the stay at home type
4) she's pretty good looking
5) she's got baggage too so we can commiserate and i won't feel guility for having my own
negatives for chelsea:
1) she's 19
2) she likes panda express, pokemon cards, buffy, and harry potter
3) she works with daigle and drives him around all over the place. that's a little too close to another guy for me and my jealous ways
4) she's a little too attractive for me. it sounds kinda counter-intuitive, but i'd probably just be super jealous most of the time
5) did i say she's 19?
6) she has baggage. i know i said that would be a positive for me, but its also a negative. what if the other guy comes around for one reason or another? would i be able to deal with it? my last two gf's i was their first serious relationship. i don't know if i know how to handle them having ex's...
i guess i'm still not ready for a relationship if i'm trying to talk myself out of being in one.
i'd like to think that i'm her type though because if she does like me, even just a little, it's a major ego boost. no joke, it really is. i like to tell myself she does like me because it does make me feel better. but on the same token, it's like i'm creating false hope for myself and that's just pathetic.
anyway, i'll keep all my faithful reader posted because i know you guys care who i go out with and end up not sleeping with.
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