2009-02-09 - 1:21 a.m.
so i took your advice michelle and i developed a prince complex.
me and alia broke up. it kinda just happened, we had a huge fight, kinda patched things up, and then things weren't the same after that. next thing you know, we stopped talking, and then it kinda just ended without anything being said.
i guess it kinda became final when i asked for my stuff from her house back. i don't know how she took it. i mean i was there and all, but i can't really read her. it felt like she was kinda shocked that i did it and she seemed kinda sad too. she'd probably never admit it though. it kinda hurt that i had to do it, because i guess i never wanted to hurt her as angry as i would get. i don't know....
i'll admit it here because i don't see anyone who reads this and then lets me know they read it, so it feels kinda private like no one sees it, but i miss alia and i'm really sad that i'm not with her anymore. the good times were so good. alia was fun. like seriously, fun. she was so lively and it just felt like all i wanted to do was sit back and watch her have fun and get hyphy. she taught me things i'd never learn with the type of girl i'm normally attracted to (like the word hyphy).
i guess you could say i'm seeing someone else, this girl, karen. not a looker, but she's older than me for once and she's deffinately more like me in what kind of stuff she'd do for fun (go to a bar). but yeah, she's not fun like alia. we sit and we talk, which is cool, but i don't have fun-fun.
the thing i like about karen is that she's the type of girl who does the same things i do like send text messages throughout the day, try to wish them a good day in the morning, put a lot of thought into gifts, etc.
yeah, i really do miss alia because yeah.... i think i want to get her something small for valentines day just because i'm not mad at her and i don't know. maybe this'll be the first time i can stay friends with an ex.
i'm not serious about karen though. and i know she's not really really into me. i think for the both of us, it's kinda we're seeing each other because she just broke up with someone and i just broke up with alia so for the both of us its we're both just looking for comfort. i'm deffinately not karen's type. she likes moke-ish guys, probably more athletic types, etc. what i represent to her is a guy who'll be the stable type, the type who'll be reliable, etc.
with karen, i get someone who's the opposite of alia. older, more mature, more reliable when it comes to keeping dates, etc. i guess that's what i like about karen.
i also want to find a gf who i can have sex with. that deffinately ain't karen. it wasn't alia either though.
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