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2009-02-11 - 12:17 a.m.

so, remember the part where i said that i wasn't mad at alia?

yeah, that kinda changed tonight.

jen, alia's coworker, came into the store tonight because she saw me and russell working and told me that alia was wearing my jacket. the jacket that she said she'd give back to me with my entourage dvd's. i don't know what that pissed me off so much, and a bunch of me knows that i'm majorly overreacting, but it really pissed me off a lot.

i can't even begin to describe how p.o.'d i am.

i think russell articulated it best when i asked him if i was overreacting. he said the question is "why is she wearing it?" is she trying to play some kind of game with me by wearing it?

i'm pretty sure that jen was trying to play some kind of game with me by telling me that alia's wearing it. she said alia was being a bitch and that i should go down there and get it from her. i'm not going to give anyone the satisfaction of letting them see me get angry, even though i know when i get angry i can really scare people with how intense i get. i might not be physically imposing, but unless you're some kind of beast of a human i'm not going to back down.

but i'm so pissed off right now, i kind of want to get alia a really beautiful gift for valentines day just to play with her mind. if she wants to play games with me, then i can play games back.

i've already started running at night to make myself feel better. i normally wouldn't have run tonight since i ran last night and i plan to run tomorrow, but i had to burn some steam off tonight.

i've also got my lungs back since i stopped smoking too. i feel a lot healthier. it's easier to wake up, i sleep better, i'm not as tired throughout the day or over the course of a 50-60 hour work week.

about the only downside to this is that i've probably got more testosterone coursing through me so i get aggro a lot quicker. it's like a natural roid rage. i'm used to be a little passive because i haven't exercised anywhere near as serious as this in years so i'm used to much lower testosterone. i guess i'm naturally aggressive and confrontational.

i also talked to carlie last night. don't know why or if it was a good idea to open that can of worms again. oh well, too late now. she's a little mad at me for not talking to her for so long of a time. she has her reasons, i had mine. i'm not going to appologize to anyone for anything i've done because sorry doesn't change anything.

man.... i really don't want to go to sleep thinking about how mad i am at alia because that would make me a bitch.

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