2009-04-25 - 12:09 a.m.
heh... so... setting the tone....
.....
man did i fuck up that day!
so yeah, john the RD came and from the moment he stepped out of blane's truck, he was already picking apart my store. y'know, it was kinda bullshit if you ask me because the whole concept of the vists was supposed to be that this was about the development plans for the SM's, and not a visit about the sales floors or shit like that. the only thing john said about my development plan was about 90 minutes into the visit (that was supposed to be 30-40 minutes) when he told blane "hey, you want to go in the back and work on the development plan while i clean up the mess i made out here?" which me and blane worked on for another 5 minutes before we went back out and started to move shit around again.
it was seriously fucked up. i felt excited and all that we had stuff to do and a new challenge in getting things the way they're supposed to be, but there was no warning about this.
it feels like a lot of work, but me and gabe and russell have been making a lot of headway in accomplishing what needs to be done because we're good like that.
i think blane's a little pissed at me, but i don't think i deserve all of it. but then again, i'm not going to say shit about it either because that's not my way. i'm just a soldier.
oh well.
it doesn't feel like friday today either. well, technically it's saturday because it's now 18 past midnight, but my whole sleep/next day theory is still in effect.
it might feel like it's saturday because i worked on sunday and wednesday, my two days off normally. in fact i was at ala moana till 12:30 and that's not even my store. i went from my store at like 430, to kahala from about 6 to 830, to ala moana. bullshit if you ask me when you take into account that i got sarcasmed all over for two and a half hours. i'm not sure, but being sarcasmed all over might be worse than getting jizzed all over. jizz is gross, but sarcasm stings, even if you don't get it in your eyes. (i'll be honest, i don't know if it stings if it gets in your eye because porn stars always close their eyes.)
and then, i also get to go to ala moana on sunday night because i need to help out with their inventory where i'm sure blane's either going to be really icy to me or give me some kind of lecture during the down time. oh well, this is where i show him how good of a soldier i am when i pull this shit out without anyone else's help.
man, wednesday was supposed to be my day off, instead it's turned into the worst week of work since christmas season.
at least i got my haircut on thursday.
fucking bevin keeps telling me about how she met her husband. they were best friends since before and she just realized that "yeah, why am i not dating you?"
god damn her and her stories of hope for me. she keeps telling me that what's happening with me is what happened to her too. god dammit. what if it doesn't turn out that way? then what? i'm subconciously putting all my eggs into this one basket and all for what? i'm afraid to be turned down and broken again. well, not afraid of it because i'll put myself in that situation always, but i just don't want it to happen.
i also asked myself if i'd rather be happy or good at something and i couldn't answer it. i take pride in being good at the things i do, so that might be what makes me happy, but on the other side of the coin, what if i could be mediocre at something and still be happy? would i really be happy at that? i think that question came to me when i was thinking about if i wanted to stay at gamestop for the rest of my life. i'm good at it for the most part, but am i happy? or would i be happier if i were doing something that i wasn't as good at but it was easier to do? i don't know....
so many thoughts.... no wonder i like drinking. i can't really form coherent thoughts when i'm drunk.
like last weekend.
i drank on friday for puddy's birthday and i got so fucked up. i was yelling "i'm gonna fuck your sister, jon!" in a public, i was throwing up all over the hilton. i couldn't even walk straight. i passed out in my bathroom on the floor without my pants or shirt on. i slept in my underwear. i really pissed off carlie's boy/girlfriend-with-a-penis. faggot.... the asshole hates me now because i was saying stupid shit when i was drunk. y'know, no one else cared enough to say anything, no one else was even offended at me acting like a dumbass and no one truly invited him. i said he could come only so carlie would come. i was even trying to respect him by not really talking to carlie the whole time because i know he doesn't trust me. but fuck it. it's on now. i'm not even going to acknowledge him anymore if i see him, no shaking his hand, no head nod, nothing. or if i do, i'm gonna wipe my nose or scratch my balls or ass or something before i offer my hand. chocolate covered pretzel?
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