2009-06-11 - 12:59 a.m.
i'm probably overreacting, but it might be time i killed myself.
i had another dream where i couldn't seal the deal with a girl.
i don't get it. who gets denied in their fucking dreams? what's the god damn deal with that?! it just doesn't make any sense to me. aren't dreams like, the only place where some guys get laid? for christs sake, i can't even get laid in my own damn dream?
ugh...
so the dream starts off with me making out with a skinny asian girl (the type i really like) and she's super cute btw (even more my type). things are going really well, i'm able to get under her shirt and under her bra, i'm playing with her petite little boobies (which i don't mind) and i suggest we go further, she's not objecting, but she's not really willing either, and then we get interrupted....
FUCK!
i. don't. get it.
it's not like i can't do it in real life, i got alia to have sex that one time... okay, yeah, once. i get it. i'm not really good at it. but fucking hell! it's my dreams god dammit. it's supposed to be my wildest outlet. even when i do get action in my dreams, it's never further than third base and it's usually me going down a girl and i like doing that, but it's not the same as boning a pretty girl.
do you all see why i loosely contemplate suicide sometimes?
and by "loosely contemplate" i mean joke about it in a way where it's more just me bitching than anything else.
i think it's also hitting me fairly harder because i'm hurt so i can't really run either. i hurt my knee running on saturday, and i injured it further on monday and then i hurt my right hip and groin trying to compensate for my left knee while trying to jog home at the half-way mark. i'm stupid and don't know how to run. actually, it's because i like running hills and that the human body is silly in it's composition. something about how the muscles hold things together and the quadriceps muscle not being strengthened enough by basic running.
and no one really cares anyway.
it's called runner's knee if anyone wants to look up an actual explanation.
it's really not as interesting as me bitching about how i can't even get laid in my own dream.
seriously, fucking hate myself...
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