2009-06-16 - 12:16 a.m.
i wonder if i set myself up for dissapointment sometimes.
i think so.
actually, i don't "wonder" or "think." i know i do.
so i hired that girl from last summer that worked at starbucks that i thought was super cute. like i wasn't going to be attracted to her again? and now that we work together we talk and have conversations and she's super easy to talk to and she seems like she enjoys talking to me so far. we talk about dumb getting to know you stuff which is always only nice. it's rare that that "getting to know you" phase ever goes poorly with me because i like to like people. i'm doing my best to keep it flirt free but i don't know how long i can do it. i hope i do because i don't want to lose my job because of sexual harrasment.
i asked her if she wanted to go running tomorrow/today. i think she was uncomfortable about saying yes so we'll see. i'll just leave it as running because actually, when i run with someone else, it's still an individual thing for me. even if she were running in front of me, i'd still feel like i have to be a gentleman and i not let my eyes wander (but cot damn! she's got the sexiest little body!).
imagine randi's body but tanned and possibly a little smaller. ooh... sexy... i like 'em tiny, okay?
i mean, there's things that i already don't like about her, but it's the shit i hate about everyone else on this fucking planet: she enjoys dan brown's and stephanie meyer's writing and christopher nolan movies. i swear to god, i must be the only mother fucker on the planet who hates all three of those things who isn't some kind of anti-yuppie or the unabomber or something. so yeah, i mean, while i totally (TOTALLY) disagree with her about those things, i completely understand i'm in the bottom 1% about that.
so, in addition to her, i'm also on the verge of hiring melissa from last summer also. i feel like i said something about her just recently, but i don't know if i actually posted that or if i just wrote about it one of the many entries that i stop writing mid way and just delete. either way, i know i was just thinking about her for one reason or another and then she shows up in the store today telling me about how she's graduated and she's home for good. uck... another one that i won't be able to not fall for until i learn to not like her... or mitch (her bf) punchisizes my face.
i think i did write about her in my "english major's are my deam girl" entry.
either way, she's back, and she's seriously considering working for me on the most part time of part time conditions. the good news about this is that it makes it look like i'm actively trying to hire girls (which i'm only sorta am). that was not a sentence...
oh, and then there's gabe. he's got a meeting with a national guard recruiter tomorrow. fuck. i kinda knew he'd be too good to last at my store, but yeesh, to loose him to the military is kinda sad. i was so happy to get him, and now i'm gonna lose him. i'm already thinking about russell as my asm in kinda the positioning that diana ended up in, but i'm worried that he won't bring the same thing that gabe brought to the store that's making us that much better. gabe's excitable, he's able to motivate the rest of the same because he's got an infectiousness that's so much more productive than swine flu is (i said that on the conference call today; it got a chuckle so i was happy). i guess it's that whole thing like at the end of grapes of wrath about how men live their lives in peaks and valleys while women are more on an even plane. things were starting to seem too good at work with gabe getting his desire to work back so he was delivering for me. and now i'm already planning for him leaving.
and then there's jonny. he's got me in a whole 'nother bind. he's back on the lauren shit agian. i told him it was a bad idea as soon as i found out. then i sat down and had a quick chat with lauren who said she didn't want to talk to jon either because she knew it wouldn't be good either so she know's what i know too. fucking jonny won't listen though. lauren even text'd me today asking what to do, so i told her she's gonna have to not be concerned about hurting him because the hurt helps the healing. but i know this is the kinda shit that affects jon. i could see his mind turning it over while i was at work today. he couldn't think straight. i thought he came to work stoned, but now it could be either that or lauren fucking with his head.
btw, i absoutly hate pot. it feels like everyone smokes weed. it's like another dan brown/stephanie meyer/christopher nolan thing. i could lump j.k. rowling in there, but i've got no beef with her because she writes books marketed at youth, and if it actually get's kids to read, then i'm fine. plus the kids don't end up walking around feeling like they're smarter about shit like dan brown does. oooh, you read a novelized text book! well, i read half of 1421 by gavin menzies and i stopped halfway when i realized that it was the same thing! i don't like gavin menzies either because that 1421 book started off well enough and then the second half just felt like it turned into speculation. i wish i could get my guns, germs, and steel back from alia. jared diamond could write okay. eventually i'll read his other stuff.
i wish i didn't have a tv sometimes. it distracts me from reading because tv is so much easier to do.
i wish i didn't like the same thing i like in employees that i like in girls. it makes things so much more difficult to sepperate.
fuckit. if life weren't difficult, i wouldn't enjoy it so much. nothing i like better than knowing i need to improve.
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