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2009-09-15 - 12:48 a.m.

Tanning By Moonlight
I always run on Monday evenings along Kalanianaole Highway
I always go the same way passing by people going the opposite way
I always run without a shirt, and
I always have this terrible tan line.

She�s coming out of the parking lot of 24-Hour Fitness
She�s wearing a baggy white t-shirt, light blue soccer shorts, a headband and an iPod
She�s running in the opposite direction of me and,
She�s smiling.

I always smile back at her, which is weird because
I always avoid people who�re looking at me when I�m running
I always feel self-conscious which is why
I always run at night in the moonlight.

She�s approaching me again on the other side of the block
She�s moving a little faster, but still
She�s smiling in my direction.

I always want to stop and talk to her
I always wonder how to start a conversation
I always hope it�ll go something like this:

I�m slowing down to talk to her
I�m introducing myself and
I�m asking if she only runs on Monday�s going the opposite way
I�m hoping she doesn�t notice my tan line.

She says she always wanted to stop and talk to me too
She says she always hoped I�d introduce myself
She says she always runs this way on Mondays
She says she always notices my funny tan lines.

I�m tanning by moonlight I explain, and now
We�re laughing.


I really hate the end. I like the concept of at the end we're doing something together rather than the rest of the poem where it's either only me or only her as the subject of each stanza(?).

but gosh, i need a better way of ending it. what about:
"I'm tanning by moonlight I explain, and now
"We're laughing, together."

does that make it better?

seriously, if anyone reads this, feedback would be much appreciated.

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