2000-03-30 - 13:14:45
Gosh, life is so boring at times... lets see... so far today, what have I done... I got woken up at the un-godly hour of 8am by piffee... yesterday she asked me to go the library today, I thought, "okay, why not." And well, I didnt expect it be so early. But lo and behold, 8am i had to wake up to a phone call... god... I hate early mornings... and then, while there, The State Libary sucks... they dont have any good books. I hate that... I like my books... and they dont have shit. But anyways, I found a book by an author I like. Well, after the libary, we walked to restaurant row to eat. So we were there, eating our Burger King (their fries suck) and guess who we saw, Anderson. Would you believe it? Anderson. And well, we were there for about an hour, eating and talking. After that we decided to walk home. So, we left, and then I started to head in the direction I thought was the way to go, but Piff had her own ideas, and started to confuse me, but I went, nope, we're going this way. And we eventually made it back. All thanks to my sense of direction. Ahh... nothing like my own diary to promote myself. I love this. So, anyone wanna hear a joke that I've probably already told you? If not, too bad. Keep reading:
A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis. Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General's office.
"Since we weren't actually at war," the General began, "I can't give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated. What we've decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body. You will be given 2 pounds sterling for each inch of distance between those parts. We'll start on the left, boys, so what'll it be?"
Soldier 1: "The tip of me head to me toes, sahr!"
General: "Very good son, that's 70 inches which comes to 140 pounds"
Soldier 2: "The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip of the other, sir!"
General: "Even better son, that's 72 inches which comes to 144 pounds"
Soldier 3: "The tip of me dick to me balls, sahr!"
General: "That's a strange request, but drop your trousers, son!
As the general begins the measurement: "My god, son, where are your balls?"
Soldier 3: "Falkland Island, sahr!"
~Ryan
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