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2000-04-30 - 23:28:01

Today was good. started off kinda weird though.

Piff called me at 6:57AM cause we were supposed to go running, but she decided to crap out on me so i went back to sleep till about 8. i ate breakfast and i watched a little TV. Then at 8:45ish, i called erin hoping to discuss our movie plans for today. it turns out she wasnt up. go fig?

Then i watched a little more TV and then at 9:15 i called again. this time no answer so i figured they were eating breakfast.

I watched some more ESPN xtreme sports stuff and then at 10:00 i called again. Her little bro picked up the phone again, and said she was still sleeping. I watched more TV.

Then i watched even more TV till about 11. I called again. guess who picks up the phone. Her little bro. guess what he said, "shes still sleeping." so i actually decided to give up for the day.

Then at about 12:40, i get a phone call. guess who. it should be farely easy under the circumstances. ERIN! duh...

Well, we figure out we will go to a movie. the next question, what movie. we decided on Rules of Engagment w/ my father buing the ticket.

We met at about 1:30 and saw the movie. Really good movie. keeps you wondering what the verdict is going to be. i liked the movie. Then we got picked up and went our separate ways.

I ended up going to my dad's office for an hour or so. i played on his computer. i was finally able to try the game on the matrix website. cool game. and then i got kicked off the internet, so i played hearts. i won one competition. so proud of myself. then me and my dad went to go rent three kings. i like that movie. hows that? two good movies in one day. i feel like i almost have a life! too bad one of them was rental... oh well, i can dream. and if not? damn...

oh, another cool thing, my blisters dont hurt anymore. im happy about that too. well, i think i'll go now. i dont have anything else to say except for this. I hate being a softie dammit.

Story of the Entry:

Monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a pieace. I thought this was odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not tolook a gift horse in the mouth so I bought 200 of them. I like monkeys. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. They punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing. I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive; they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sort of dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. God damn cheap monkeys. I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead,wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys. I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for awhile,that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn't want to call a plumber. I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortuantely there was only enough room for two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad. I tried to burn them, but little did I know that my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead,charred monkeys in a pile on my bed, The odor wasn't improving. I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and Ireally had to use the bathroom. So I went and severely beat one of th emonkeys. I felt better. I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him I had a wet one. He couldn't take it either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones. I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't quite know what to say.They pretended to like them, but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates.

So I punched them in the genitals. I like monkeys.

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