2000-05-02 - 22:39:49
Today was cool. at drill practice, i finally got a chance to try out this new move i wasnt sure if i could do or not. and then on my second of third try or something like that i got it! and hell, even takatomo couldnt figure out what i was doing. made me feel good. and then, at afternoon practice, i can do a freakin double toss again! im so fucking proud of my god dammed self for once! and i know none of you give a shit about it, but you know what? if crystal can constantly write about swimming, i can write about my god dammned drill team okay? if not, go to hell and burn!!! die and do the whole hell shindig.
Did any of you see Shana's Jr. Prom picture? she looks different in it. all grown up and all. and i mean up. she looks taller in the picture. its kinna funny. but it kinda reminds me of tiana's prom picture from last year. when she showed it to me, i had to look hard to know it was really tiana. i know im a dumbass, but hey, fuck off. i dont mind too much that im one, so neither should you.
i am reflecting on what im writing now, and i noticed that im very belligerent in this entry. i maybe proud of myself, but im still going off about stuff w/ the swearing and stuff. oh well, tough shit.
Advice of the Entry:
>Portuguese Advice (remember people, these are just JOKES, don't really try
>them)
>
>If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug
>of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost
>instantly removed.
>
>Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone
>else to hold them while you chop away.
>
>Give up smoking by sticking one cigarette from each new pack up a friend's
>ass, filter first, then replacing it in the box. The possibility of putting
>that one in your mouth will put you off smoking any of them.
>
>Make your girlfriend cry when you're having sex by phoning her up and
>telling her.
>
>Dyslexics. Try deliberately spelling words wrongly. This way at least you
>have a chance of spelling them correctly.
>
>Bearded men can obtain the appearance of an upper class Arctic'explorer by
>simply applying Tippex to their beards, painting their noses blue, and
>cutting off a couple of toes. It never fails to impress the girls.
>
>Keep the seat next to you on da bus vacant by smiling and nodding at people
>as they walk up the aisle.
>
>Increase blind people's electricity bills by switching all their lights on
>when their guide dog isn't looking.
>
>Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a
>handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
>
>Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and grazes
>with thin strips of bacon.
>
>Save money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing
>your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. R545 SDF.
>
>Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the
>object you wish to view.
>
>Avoid jet lag by simply taking an earlier flight, thus arriving fully
>refreshed and on time.
>
>Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes'
>eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.
>
>Save time when crossing a one-way street by only looking in the direction of
>oncoming traffic.
>
>When crossing a one-way street always look in BOTH directions in case da bus
>is reversing the wrong way up the road.
>
>Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard.
>
>Hijackers. Avoid a long stressful siege and the risk of arrest, imprisonment
>or death by simply making sure you book a flight to your intended
>destination in the first place.
>
>Deter goldfish from having sex by throwing a small bucket of air over any
>that you catch in the act.
>
>An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an'inexpensive
>vibrator.
>
>Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you've taken anabolic steroids by
>running a bit slower.
>
>Sweetcorn fans. Save money on toliet paper by simply pouring the stuff
>straight down the shitter.
>
>Spice up your sex life by trying a bit of 'rodeo sex'. Take your wife from
>behind and, holding on tightly to her tits, call her by the wrong name. See
>how long you can 'stay mounted' for."
�
�
