2000-07-03 - 19:45:25
One day. Gavin is really gonna get it. him, taylor, josh, all the fuckin football players. I mean, i am going to break, i am going to snap, i am going to fuck them up.
today, i was walking from one of my friends houses, and most of them were sitting in whadda call that... Makiki Inn. And well, gavin already hates me as you all know, so they always yell at me when they're together cause you know, they're all gay right? and well, gavin comes out, and pushes me. "Hey! what the fuck is your problem? you throwing fucking water ballons at me!"
"Hi."
"Crack him in the mouth!" said some of the others in the background."
"Whats the fuck, throwing water ballons at me!?!" yelled gavin.
"Look. Im not gonna fuck with you gavin. It wasnt me, i wasnt throwing water ballons at anyone. I was with Leo the whole time," as i motined towards leo, "it wasnt me."
"Fuck you!"
Then i crossed the street. as i was crossing the street, i began to take out my little pocket knife cause i thought they were following me. i was preparing to jump them and stab them if they were following me. but lucky for me they werent following me.
and then later on, after i get to school. after a while after i got back to school, i went to talk to jenna, cindy, kim, genipher, and this other guy, they were hollering and yelling at me. so, i just ignored them. and then taylor came up to me "hey, i like borrow your shoes."
"no, thats alright."
"hey, i like borrow your shoes."
"no, thats alright."
"hey, i like borrow your shoes!"
"no. Thats. Alright."
"what the hell is that knife for? you going stab gavin." *note the period is there because he came to the conclusion that i was going to stab him instead of asking if i was gonna stab him, After asking what it was for.
"no. its not to stab gavin cause im not gonna fuck with you guys cause i know you can kick my ass."
"what the fuck? you fuckin throw water ballons at us and then you go and chicken shit out."
"That wasnt me! i wasnt even here after school! right? i wasnt here after school?" i asked kim.
::nods head "yes"::
"see!"
"ah you fuckah! i know that was you?!? what the hell. you fuckin chicken shit out. fuckin pussy!" he rambled on as he left.
and then i started to mutter obscentities as i was getting ready to do something other than get myself into trouble. man... y'all better be fuckin proud of me for not stabbing taylor in the fuckin leg. i am so hopping to god, the devil, allah, buddah, and anyone else that listens to fuck them up. i dont care, have the bleachers fall on them while their in there and only get those ass holes. i dont want anyone else who doesnt fuck with me to get hurt cause they dont bother me. im rather indifferent towards those guys. but, gavin and all his cronnies, let em burn in hell.
and well, after taylor left, we all decided to leave. as we were leaving, gavin and his bitches started to yell shit at me. i just muttered to myself instead of looking in their direction and yelling something at them and giving them some sort of visual identification of my feelings. and well, i really cant wait till they die so i can piss all over their hedge stone and shit on their grave. and if they have an urn. its all good. fuckin in-breeds.
i am so prepared to take a CO2 pistol with me to school that looks like a real gun, cause its designed after a real gun. i mean, i am so ready to shoot them and then cut their arms. especially since there's a major vain on the bicep, and i figure, if i cut it, their arms are going to be useless. then i'll shatter their knee caps with a hammer. okay okay... so i can dream cant i? i mean, i desereve to at least be able to dream about it. they are begining to push me to the edge and i am going to hit my breaking point sooner or later. one day... no one can go forever with out letting it go. and i am getting there so close. i can feel the hate welling up. and i need release. soon.
but, i really have to thank all the people who are keeping me from doing that. jenna, cindy, kim, gennipher, and mostly erin for letting me promise to her that i wouldnt do anything to them. oh, cant forget leo who was with me today when they first attacked me. if it wasnt for him there, i probably woulda stayed and duked it out. with all of them. one day. one day they're gonna push me over the edge and its all going to come crashing down. i may go to prison. but at least i'll know that something happened to them. one day...
chose the wrong person to fuck with...
gonna die...
one day...
let it go ryan... let it go...
dont hold it in...
let it go...
let go of the hate...
its gonna get you killed...
they may only attack when they are in a group, but if their in a group, then their stronger than i am...
musnt let my anger control me...
must think clearly and remember all my aikido if they do attack me...
musnt let the control me...
cant sink down to their level...
God will take his wrath upon thee...
i am GOD!
breath... breath... breath...
i am really mad. i can feel it. i got a twitch in my face right now. its not normal. i think its from the anger.
im calm now. im calm. not gonna get me. nope. they're gonna get whats comming to them one day. i hope they get hit by a car.
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