2000-10-31 - 01:43:41
im completely off as to what happened today.
i went to a health class to give a lesson on smoking and its badness for peer ed. that sucked.
and everyone in the morning that sees me sitting and listening to my CD player thinks im depressed. just because im sitting alone looking at the ground listening to my CD player doesnt mean im depressed. its just my thinking place.
fuck, i got promotion board tomorrow. i dont wanna do it. AW FUCK! im supposed to work in peer ed tomorrow. but i also gotta do that! shit! fuck fuck fuck. fuck it all.
i hate life. no wonder i told blair to put my name on her folder.
i was reflecting tonight. i realized that im dead inside. im like, feeling alone inside. i mean, here i am, i go to rotc people call me a pimp. and then i also hang out almost exclusively with girls when i go out on the weekends. im out to all hours with them. but not one of them am i capable of getting with. its like, im a dead man who people just talk to. its like all im good for. talking to. no one really wants to do stuff with me cept for talk.
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