2005-04-06 - 12:48 a.m.
argh! nothing is going right.
or at least thats the way it seems because i'm pretty fucking angry at the world right now.
just now, after i finished my shower, i opened up the first of two boxes of guaze pads that my mom bought from costco. yeah, they're from costco so this means that it's a box of 25. but what makes it worse is that the pads are only 2x2 when i've been using 3x4 pads. and this is the part that really pisses me off, they're not non-stick pads. like i knew they wouldn't be when i looked at the box this afternoon. even though my mom assured me they were because the guy said they were. i tried explaining to my mom that they weren't, but she wouldn't have any of it, so i believed her because that's what a good son does. and now look at where i am... or will be in a few hours when i have to change this tiny little gauze square.
and there's two fucking boxes of 25 of them left!
jeezus fucking christ... what the hell is wrong with you? what? is it because i didn't like your fucking pope that you choose to fucking persecute me in some of the most bizzare fucking ways imaginable? a fucking ass boil that requires surgery? or maybe it's the humiliation of having adam making snide remarks about it? y'know god, you've got some fucking nerve. you gave me free will and when i choose to voice that free will you choose to smack me around. you didn't seem to mind the millions of people your pope condemed to death by speaking negatively of something as simple as the use of condoms. y'know, lets not even really mention the countless children who've been left parentless because their mothers died of AIDS-related complications.
but you know what? it doesn't matter because god doesn't read my diary. god's too busy doing other things. so all my complaining is doing is making me feel better about getting nothing accomplished with my life at 1 am while my ass leaks onto a tiny square piece of gauze that's going to hurt like the dickens when i have to tear it off. i should just give up on life already.
i really don't see what the problem with feeling sorry for yourself is. sometimes it helps. it's when you start trying to make others feel sorry for your that you truly become a fag.
oh, and what really capped today off was that that may kid from UNC said he's returning next year, the yankees beat the red sox on a walkoff homerun, and the mariners bullpen gave up seven runs in a single inning sparking a comeback for the twins. god i hate sports sometimes...
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