2000-05-09 - 23:08:56
I am now doing color guard for the awards banquet. I am even doing the same flag as i did last year. what a freaking coincidence. Hell if i know how it happened. actually i do know, i just dont feel like explaning it. you dont mean that much to me. now i hope you all die.
oh, and if people dont start to sign my gb, i will refuse to write any more entries. that means, no more lame jokes, no more stupid quotes, no more pointless facts. its all up to you.
hmm... today... i slept a lot today. i also read a lot. im now on page 205 in my second day of reading. that still doesnt beat my record of readin forrest gump in three days tho. well, im boring, so i'll leave now.
I'm in a good mood for today, so you'll get two funny jokes (at least to me) for today.
Jokes of the Entry:
51 Days
A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts
open and in come four exuberant Marines. They come to the bar and order five
bottles of beer and ten glasses. They take their order over and sit down at
a large table. The caps are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin
toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Soon three more Marines
arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows, "51 days, 51 days, 51
days!" Two more Marines show up and soon their voices are are joined in
raising the roof, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Finally the tenth Marine
comes in with a picture under his arm, he walks over to the table, and sets
the picture in the middle and the table erupts.
Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging
high-fives, all the while chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" The
bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the
table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the
cookie monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit the bartender asks
one of the Marines, "Whats all the chanting and celebration about?"
The Marine who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that
Marines are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record
straight. Ten of us got together, bought this puzzle and put it together.
The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days."
and heres the other one:
It's the Spring of 1957 and a sailor goes to pick up his date. When he goes
to the front door, the girl's father answers and inviteshim in. "Carrie's
not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?," he says.
"That's cool" says the sailor.
Carrie's father asks the sailor what they're planning to do.
The sailor replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop
or a movie.
Carrie's father responds "why don't you two go out and screw? I hear all the
kids are doing it."
Naturally, this comes as a quite a surprise to the young sailor - so he asks
Carrie's Dad to repeat it.
"Yeah," says Carrie's father, "Carrie really likes to screw; she'll screw
all night if we let her!"
Well, this just made the sailor's eyes light up, and his plan for the
evening was beginning to look pretty good.
A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and
announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, the
young sailor escorts his date out the front door.
About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the doorbehind
her, and screams at her father:"DAMMIT DADDY! IT'S CALLED THE TWIST!!!"
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