2000-05-11 - 23:25:14
Today was... for once im at a lack for words.
Well... today started off w/ me really tired for some obscure reason. i mean, i went to sleep 'fore midnight for once. and woke up a few times during the night, but never for more than a few seconds... but oh well.
In health, it turns out im a "bold" person. tell me if it fits me in my gb. oh, and melissa, if your reading this, i think it works now. oh, and you can all thank melissa, she told me that she tried to sign the GB, but it was broke.
hmm... in english, i had a "really good idea" according to mr. inouye. and all you people say hes a mean ass hole who doesnt know shit. i say unto thee, DIE AND GO TO HELL. AND ONCE YOUR THERE... BURN BURN BURN!!! and that reminds, me, today, you will be reading a joke about hell. if you want to know about my "really good idea" ask me later.
then in math, i had a nice nap. i also P.O.'ed taryn. as usual. just a normal day in that class.
spanish was really off today. we had to make tortilla's, but half of the group wasnt there. and it turns out that the two who were missing had all the stuff we needed. so, i ended up finishing up my book, and listening to my CD all class.
then i went home. it watched cartoons. that was fun. i also went to the state library. i got me 2061: Odyssey Three, the book after 2010: Odyssey Two. I hope this book is as good as the last, and i also got Starship Troopers, its a pretty good book so far.
and then i talked to erin, it turns out that shes all going to try to be anti-social, just to spite me might i add, at the ROTC awards banquet. she thinks that its going to be "weird" there cause she "doesnt know anyone." i told her, yes she does, she knows reece and deyson and brian and mori and a few others. but she doesnt want to listen to me. so we'll let fate handle this one. okay, well, thats my day. now read my jokes, and sign my GB.
Jokes of the Entry:
A Marine in Hell
A Marine dies in combat and wakes up to find he is in hell. He's really depressed as he stands in the processing line waiting to talk to an admittance counselor. He thinks to himself I know I lead a wild life but, Hell, I'm a Marine. We're expected to live wild lives. I wasn't that bad. I
never thought it would come to this. "Looking up he sees that it is his turn to be processed into hell. With fear
and heavy heart, he walks up to the counselor.
Counselor: What's the problem, you look depressed?
Marine: Well, what do you think? I'm in hell.
Counselor: Hell's not so bad, We actually have a lot of fun. Do you like to drink?
Marine: Of course I do. I'm a Marine.
Counselor: Well then, you are going to love Mondays, On Mondays we drink up a storm. You can have whiskey, rum, tequila, beer, whatever you want and as much you want. We party all night long. You'll love Mondays. Do you smoke?
Marine: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Counselor: You are going to love Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoke day. You get to smoke the finest cigars and best cigarettes available anywhere. And you smoke to your heart's desire without worrying about cancer because you are already dead! Is that great or what? You are going to love Tuesdays.
Do you like to fight?
Marine: Of course I do. I'm a Marine!
Counselor: You are going to love Wednesdays. That's Fighting Day. We challenge each other to fights to see who's the toughest in Hell. You don't have to worry about getting hurt or killed, because you're already dead.You
are going to love Wednesdays. Do you gamble?
Marine: Show me a Marine who doesn't!
Counselor: You are going to love Thursdays, Because we gamble all day and night. Black jack, craps, poker, slots, horse races, everything! you are going to love Thursdays. Are you gay?
Marine: Of course, not! I'm a Marine!
Counselor: Oh (grimaces) , you're going to hate Fridays.
Bird Strikes NOTE: True Story
Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made. But, when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to
smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cab.
Horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.
NASA's response was just one sentence, "Thaw the chicken."
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