2000-11-03 - 02:14:28
i got states tomorrow. im freakin out here. my mind is going here and there. am i gonna fuck up? am i gonna fuck up really badly? am i gonna beat kato? no. i doubt it. as long as we dont come in dead last, im peachy.
fuck. im gonna be in school all week. including weekends. well, except tomorrow. sorta. im gonna be at st. louis. ai chiwawa. gotta be there by 615 a.m. coach wants me to be there early in-case he isnt there. he told me to check the team in if hes not there. so, i guess im acting team captain. well then again. i was basically team captain the whole year and girls team coach. i know i sound like im tooting my own horn, but, i really dont give a fuck. im more into just not taking shit from people anymore. im kinda sick of being the bitch in every single thing i do. people want something done, "okuno. come here. i need this, can you go run up there *points to some high up place* and get it for me?" i know its my fault for condoning it by doing it, but still, why do i let it happen? why cant i just say no and not be afraid of looking like an ass hole? i mean, i really doing mind pissing off people i dont like. ake for example, or park too. but its like, girls. i have such a weakness to them. talk about whipped. im whipped over girls who i dont even like in that way or not. why? what the fuck is wrong with me... dont answer that, i dont want to know.
i took over my rotc period today. tiffany was reading the daily bulletin, and then all of a sudden she goes, "okuno, can you finish up reading the bulletin?"
"uh, okay." and i walk to the podium, while tiff goes to the toilet. so i read it and report in to sgt. and give the class directions and stuff. then tiff comes out looking like shit. it turns out she was almost threw up so she slept for the rest of the period while i ran the class. the ironic thing is, theres matt fung whos an e-6 and leo whos an e-5. me? im an e-3. even if you dont know rank structure or anything, its not that hard to figure out, no?
okay... i just tooted my own horn again. oh well. i figure, hey, look at all the guys who get ahead in life. they're all ass holes. every single last one of them. none of them got ahead in life for BEING humble. every single one of them ACTS humble, but how many of them truly are?
oh, and if you do not quite enjoy any comments i make in my diary, tell me about it and i'll do what i can to explain my point of view. if that does not work, then beat the crap out of me. either way, let me know. thats all i ask. peaches.
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