2001-08-23 - 9:02 p.m.
this is the eve of my summer before my (1st) senior year. where am i? i'm at home. i'm not out smoking and joking and kicking it back on the block. i'm sitting at home in front of the computer because this is how i spend my teenage life. absorbing god knows what evil carcinogenics through the screen.
well, its now 9:42. i was talking to amy on the phone. dude, she is one whack mutha. thats all i gots to say on that.
but yeah... back to where i was.
i really need to get a life. i'm spending my last night of freedom at home in front of a computer screen. but, whats worse is what i did today.
i went to school for the third day that i wouldn't need to be there had i been a smart mother fucker.
frosh orrientation day was gay. i got in trouble because of ake again. i swear to god i want to beat the poo out of that bastard. y'know, i'm thinking, this probably isn't a good thing to be writting in such a public place. if i ever got into trouble with the law for violence, they could subpoena this and i'd be in a world of shit. well, while i'm on this topic, i should bad mouth lawyers just in case they do want to use this. no, i dont have anything to bad mouth lawyers on because i dont really give a fuck about them. well, i dont like mr. oshima or mr. nagata and they're both lawyers, but yeah.
anyhow... i got in trouble for calling ake a faggot and all that stuff that i call him. and i got into trouble with my rotc instructors because they dont like it when i'm not a warm carring sombitch because apparently it doesn't look good for the program. oh that and i told a freshman "fuck rotc" while they were trying to recruit her. but still, whatever.
and get this... in rotc, as much as they're not sure i want to be there, they put me into a leadership position. i'm a platoon sergeant. this means i'm responsible for about 22 people. 20 squad members (typcially first year cadets who are normally freshmen) and 2 squad members (normally second year cadets who are usually sophomores). i found this rather amusing seeing as how they dont really like me anyway. well actually, i think the major is getting kind of fed up with my shit, but i think sergeant koki really likes having me there because he's always fighting for me. or maybe he's just boosting my ego as a way to keep me in. i dont know. i dont really care. i'm shallow like that.
but, despite that negative mark on today, i was also complemented. i was told good job on my work with the freshmen- although i hardly did anything anyway- by more than a few teachers. i find that ironic. especially because the instructors heard the same thing too.
oh, and sgt. koki said that he doesn't like ake. and he alluded to the fact that the major doesn't either. i knew it all along. i really did!
i think i'm going to enjoy my senior year to a fairly good degree. i know i'm going to pick on freshmen because i can, i know i'm going to also hit on freshmen chicks to see if that "oh, and he's a senior too!" thing really works. but i'm not going to go out with them. unless they're really cool like erin was. and i'm gonna try graduate with a cum laude. thats the real bitch part. but at least i have a few crusie courses. but i'm not sure how marine science works out, or nishioka's will... or newswriting with kyle as my editor. y'know, i'm not sure at all about any of my classes. except for maybe leadership. i wish i had dropepd alg 1 and instead become a TA for boss. she despartely needs an assistant to organize things for her. or rather a secretary, and thats what i'd be good at because i like doing that paper work shit. it's a whole lot easier than a lot of stuff other people do. and mr. sasaki sees me pushing papers and buttons too. not doing leg work. ahh the oddities of life.
earlier tonight, i was reviewing past diary entries. entries from last years first days of school, last years last days of school, this years first days of summer, and now, i'm doing the last day of summer. man, how my life has changed since last year. last year i was worried about everything, now all i'm really concerend about is graduating from high school with a cum laude. last year i was all gung-ho about rotc, now i'm not really giving a shit about rotc. last year i was apprehensive about taking peer ed, this year i wish i could. last year, this year, last year, this year, last year this... a lot changes in a year. i wonder what'll happen at the end of this school year? whos going to graduate? whos going to get scholarships for ivy league schools? whos going to KCC? whose not even going to go to school? who wont be with us after this school year? all these thoughts run rampat through my mind as i think... "what the fuck is all this shit i'm typing?"
hmm... i feel like writing more so i think i will.
lets recap the summer because i need something to write about.
well, the summer started off with me going to Summer Leadership School for a week. that i think was good. i got to meet new people from other schools. and they were girls too. and girls are always good to know.
after that i came back and i still talked to them, but i had summer school now. summer school was interesting becasue i made better friends with dustin and lauryn. after that i dont quite remember what i did, maybe thats because i did nothing? i dont remember. but i think around here the risk crew was formed. jenna, dennis, dae won, and myself. the risk crew was the best thing happened to me all summer. it provided me with countless hours of entertainment.
i also went hiking with the risk crew, and camping too. two parts of this summer that will stay with me for a long time. hiking crouching lion, hidden trail was something i dont think i would ever forget. and camping with dennis and his visions of fire... it brings back memories. the risk crew, my best friends.
but summer was not all good times. it was also the summer that i met punahou girl. oh punahou girl... the girl that brought my self-confidence in girls back to earth. i was all fine with my ability to talk to girls until i met her. boy was i ruined for a great deal after her.
and rotc fucked me up a lot. i'm still fucked up because of rotc.
but i did learn to drive. too bad i wont be driving any time soon.
and dae won left. the risk crew was disbanded as we all knew it would inevitably come to be, it was a harsh reality. just knowing that dae won wouldn't be there anymore made it all the more sad. i miss dae won. i cant wait till he comes back.
but, y'know, it's my senior year, it'll get better. it has to get better. if it doesnt, i think i'd shoot myself.
okay, i should stop rambling on now. if you've made it this far, i give you major props.
remember people. we're seniors. pick on freshmen.
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