2001-09-11 - 9:35 p.m.
as you all probably know by now, america has been attacked by a foreign terrorists. this isn't the first time either, but it certainly was the most horrific one ever. the world trade center was bombed years ago, the flight out of florida... twa 700, was bombed out of the air years ago, the federal building in oklahoma was bombed years ago. this is the next one in the long list of terrorist attacks on US soil.
what this is not, it is not a war. i dont care what anyone says, a war is not what this is. if you want, i'll admit, this is a different type of war, but it is nothing NOTHING compared to pearl harbor sixty years ago. war is against two militaries, this is just... terrorism.
and the terrorists, they did exactly what the word is. the fact that they sucessfully highjacked four planes within two hours and crashed three out of four of them into their targets, and leveled the world trade center is inconsequential to the damage they did to the american psyche. as you would read in my friend jenna's diary, it did far more than the physical damage and the loss of life, it shook america's sense of safety. americans no longer feel safe to even fly, one of the most safe acts to do in this country. you're more likely to be struck by lightning than to die in an airplane crash. but they did it. american's no longer feel safe in their own states, counties, homes even. all because of this act of terrorism.
but to me, the real tragedy is that if the highjackers are who we suspect they are, they believed they were going to heaven by doing this. they fully believed that they were right in doing this. the damage lies in that there's even more people out there who would've killed to be killed. its a sad world we live in. but it's how we chose to live as individuals and that right must be respected.
i dont know what to think really. the terrors gotten to me. i'm afraid that we'll go to war. if we go to war, that means a lot of my friends are going to die, and i'm not ready to lose them. guys like dennis, dae won, jason, joey, brian, leo, deyson, trevor, all of them. hell, in less than a year and a half, i'm elligible for selective service draft too.
i've been talking about it to trevor, and we both agree that this madness needs to end right here right now. there cant be a war cause we're both too young.
but, you know what? now that i think about it, i can't be scared. if i'm scared, i'll be like everyone else. and i'll be what the terrorists leaders want. if this happens, then i'll only be a part of the problem. and i refuse to let that happen.
its kind of ironic in that england has been dealing with terrorism for decades now, israel too. to them, this is nothing new. this has become a part of life for them. but for us, we were still kind of virgin. but now, we've been popped. daddy's little girl aint so little no more.
y'know, i'm still talking to trevor, and he's helping me keep my sense. thanks man.
its all kind of sinking in now. it took me more than 12 hours... 18 hours actually to set in. but now that it's set in, i can finally start to think about it all. like really think, not analyze like i was doing all day, but think. think and ponder about it all. think about maybe what those people who jumped had in their minds...
oh those poor fucks who jumped. whats more sad than a person who has no other choice than how their going to die? imagine how you'd feel if you were only given the choice of burn or die of sudden impact? imagine how sad of a way to go where all you know is that either way you're dead? what a way to go.
and i'm really not down with all this hate going on. all this hate of "oh we should bomb the fucks." cause that's not solving anything. when did all this hatred resolve a problem? all it's going to lead to is more hate. more hate and violence and ultimately death. and if i hear a story about an arab being beaten to death i'm going to flip out. if it happens here, i'm going to do something stupid. maybe i'll go hunt out those mobs alone and only alone. if i take someone it wont have the effect of a single person standing. its the tianamen square effect, y'know? the one where the lone man is standing in front of the tank. it's all about creating a show and the ensuing effect that TV will show. i really hope there's no more hate though. hate is what brought us here, and if hate carries us through, we're all in for a world of shit.
it's all just way over my head. i'm still too young to understand it all.
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