2002-02-26 - 8:23 p.m.
well, mike, you see, this ching yee person is part of what i like to call the "chinese milita." it's really just three people, but, i like the way "chinese milita" sounds. i call them that because they rule with an iron fist and anything not their way, they fucking slam you down into the dirt until you conform. however, when you have an asshole like me, who resists conforming, you get bad things, and yesterday was a good example. so, yes, ching yee lau is the leader of the chinese milita who cannot control her fucking hormones and blames yesterday on PMS. oh yeah, and if you checked your yearbook like a smart person would, you would've known who she is.
but it's okay mike, i understand. you go to aiea now.
anyhow...
today royden wanted to talk to me about something, but when we found him, he had forgotten what it was. so i made fun of him for that and he couldn't deffend himself so i made more fun of him. and then randi joined in. and then he left, and then fatty came by and we made fun of her. and then kyle came by and we made fun of the two of them. and in the end, i was making fun of everyone.
oh yeah, by "we" i mean me and randi.
anyway, i found out that yet another of my very close friends is going to the junior prom too. yes! more people to make fun of!
and while fatty, kyle, and randi were teasing eachother, someone said something about me making ching yee cry yesterday and my apparent elation about it. anyway, while this happened, i think it was chad shomura came by and tossed kyle terri's (a sophomore who's cool) little dog thing. so, what'd kyle do? he shoved it down his jacket so she couldn't get it. and then one of the two fatty's said "you're so mean!" i think it was jenna. anyway, randi said "yeah, you're meaner than ryan!" and then jenna commented on how "if you're meaner than ryan, that's pretty bad!" so i got a kick out of that.
and then, when terri got her stuffed animal back, we went back to the subject of me making people cry and taking elation in it. kyle said about "atleast i dont enjoy in giving people mental breakdowns" or something like that. it had to do with me fucking with peoples mentalities and emotions. i'm like a reverse psychiatrist. not reverse psychology, but reverse psychiatrist. i dont solve problems, i create them.
yes... it's all coming together. i wonder if they offer a college major in reverse psychiatry?
but, going on...
wow, that was a lot about just a good hour in the cafeteria.
anyway...
in period one, we were counting money for the lukemia & lymphoma fund raiser we're having by class levels, anyway, i was sent to go get the money from mr. coleman. so when i walked in there i told him "hi, i'm here to steal your charity money," in my deadpan voice that i do oh so well. anyway, coleman asked me: "do you have some sort of identification? I wouldn't want you to run away with my money and me not know who you are mr. okunko." so what'd i do? thinking fast, i had my hand in my pocket and i felt my lunch ticket, pulling it out and showing it to him "i have a lunch ticket. is that proof enough for you?" and it worked. i got the charity money and i ran off to mexico where i caught a plane to cuba where i am right now.
but i did that after school because otherwise i'd be cutting classes.
in period 3, news writing, we had distribution, and as randi said this morning, "distribution day is like candy day."
however, jenna countered: "only, without the candy." and then they went off about how valentines day should be called candy day and how jenna once called valentines day "chocolate day" and we reminnisiced about that being sophomore year. blah blah blah.
so, continuing on...
me and dick distributed to G101-104, E101, and F101. those are some of the farthest classes in the school. why'd we do that? so we could chill in ikei's room with trevor who was supposed to meet us there. but while we were waiting, the cocksucker decides that he's gonna go be melissa's slave and he walks her back to class... trevor, what happened man? i thought you had some balls. i guess thats what happens when you move to hawaii kai. you get soft, no more ghetto in him already. the pussy.
so, on the way back to class, me and dick harrased ashley and alyssa. i swear to god ashley is on crack. or it seemed that way at least. yeah, while we were walking back, alyssa asked her "ashley, what kinda crack are you on?"
to which ashley responded: "why? you want some?"
and i immediately chimmed in: "she's on ass crack. thats what she's on."
yes! i got my little crack (no pun intended) in.
devious ass am i.
so, yeah, continuing on...
my curse in news writing is back. the computers dont like me again. i'm so hurt. i just got upgraded from recycling bitch to stud then to layout bitch/stud (depending on who you ask) and then in one day it all comes crashing down. i pasted the front page a smidge too low. okay, so it wasn't a smidge. it was quite a bit too low. and then the comptuers wouldn't be nice to me. so i got all sad. news writing, my favorite class got angry at me because i was getting too confident. i'm sad.
but yeah...
the day continued.
and i was scared for the rest of the school day because in my article, i wrote a satire about girls and PMS. it basically bashed women's perceptions that they're the only thing in the universe with cramps, bloating, irritablity, etc. i had a good laugh at that. so did hamel and taryn. but that's because they know me and that i like to write things that aren't the truth just to get laughs. however, i wrote it without the intention of placing my name on the article. but, hamel and her gang pressured me into pasting my name on it. man, when we distributed, i was scared. i was thinking to myself, i've gotta get to randi's car as soon as possible after school and get outta dodge. oh and i should also keep an eye over my shoulder during lunch, just incase.
well, on my way down to the cafeteria, i was talking to jenna and mary rose, she goes "alright jenna! good article, i love your jellie jar!" but me, she ignored me.
and then she said hi.
but yeah, the message was recieved.
and in the lunch line, denise was behind me and she said "so, guys get PMS too, huh?" in an angry tone. a very angry tone. i was scared because denise is pretty strong. it was kinda like... "uhm, do i really need to stand in line for salad?"
but of course i stayed in line, because y'know... gotta stay regular.
and then, on my way back to my table, randi stopped me and i was talking to her and joan said something, to which i just had to respond because i'm an attention whore. but anyway, i came to another realization. women, i hear their boobs get bigger or more sensitive during their menstural cycle. well, you may think that's bad, but how's this? guys, we gotta live with popping woddy's all the time. from the time we wake up we got one, it's called morning wood and every morning we gotta deal with it.
and i later found myself discussing this with alia in our grad committe meeting. well, she liked the article. she found it funny, so i was happt i hadn't pissed another person off. but, anyway, alia also said that guys gotta worry about getting hit in the nuts, and she agreed with the boner thing. and then she said "yeah, it must be hard." and then we both stopped to think for a second and then BOOM we both started to crack up. talk about a freudian slip. that's one if i've ever heard one.
speaking of fruedian slips, dick was discussing baldwin's swim team t-shirts. for the guys, in big bold letters on the back it said "stroke hard." i found that funny enough. i mean, i would've been rolling on the damn floor laughing if i wasn't in my desk. and then he says "but wait, there's more. the girls team t-shirt, in the same big bold letters says 'get wet.'" by now i had to stick my head in my sweatshirt because i was laughing so hard. and then he told the whole class and i swear we all stopped working just to laugh at that. that was pure classical humor.
okay, so maybe not classic humor, more of a contemporary, but it was down right funny as hell.
anyway... after school i dig out as fast as i can and then 5:45 rolls around and my mom takes me to this drug awareness shop given by this guy gary shimabukro. yeah, i had to write a news brief for it. anyway, it was pretty good. at first i didn't want to go and had planned on reading my magazine, but i swear to god this guy was good. he kept my attention. i think it was because he kept changing the slides. like, he hardly gave you any time to really comprehend them. so it really appealed to my ADD side. but yeah. i learned a lot from the guy. he was pretty funny too. he had all these little annecdotes put into his presentation and they were tastefully executed. if you ever get a chance to hear him talk, i say go for it.
and that was my day.
i think to write a good diary, you can write about your day. you just need to make it funny and kinda story like.
so i guess that means that i was wrong before. fuckin' idiot i am. at least i aint royden!
nah, peace!
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