2007-11-02 - 1:51 a.m.
aww, sillymunky53's kinda depressed because someone died. that makes me not sad, but... empathetic? i don't even know if that's the feeling i should have? or if that's even an emotion as much as something i can't think about because i've had a few to drink too.
death sucks. i still remember when deyson died. that was a terrible time for me. i think it was just as bad as when my grandma died and my neighbor died too... plus when slippers (the cat at randi's house) died. i guess when slippers died, it was so hard for me because that was the first time i'd really had to deal with death. when gracie, my neighbor died, it wasn't so bad at first, but then i remember i was eating dinner at TGIF and then it hit me, a few weeks after she'd died. when deyson died, it was tragic for me because i didn't know what was happening... or even if it happened because there was no way to confirm it right away. when my grandma died, that was kinda... expected? but i didn't want to face it so i went back to sleep... and then i went into work that afternoon and kinda kept it all to myself. i told my friends because they're always there for me... i told blane too, but that's because he's my boss and i needed a day of bereavement for the funeral.
death is... different for everyone. judah takes death so damn hard. i don't know how to explain it. me, i kinda just roll with the punches. don't get too high or too low when it comes to death. just gotta find where you are when it comes to death.
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