2008-06-20 - 10:40 p.m.
things have changed quite a bit since last i remember updating...
btw, i've really come to hate how often i uses elipses and exclamation marks. i think i over use both of those things.
so me and bre are texting every morning and throughout the day during work. i would say during our days off too, but she's the only one with any days off. i'll get to that in a bit though. but we start every morning with a good morning text and it just goes various ways from there.
i think she's begining to like me, but donna tells me to make sure that i don't ask her out because it'd undo all the work i'm doing now. if i don't ask her out, it'll make her wonder why i'm not asking her out and then she'll want me and pine for me until she asks me out.
or it backfires entirely and she goes out with someone. if she does, then she was never really that into me either though.
to be honest, i don't think the two of us would last forever though. i don't think we're that compatible. for one, she doesn't like to read, and while i don't read all that much as much as i used to, i still love reading. if i could date an english major, and some evenings, all we did was sit around and read, i'd be happy. i mean, that's just one thing, but it's kinda like one of the big things for me.
but hey, what makes me think i'll find the one now anyway? i'm only 23. if all i do is just date and fuck around (figuratively and eumphamistically if that's a word even), then what the hell?
anyway, so yeah, i think me and bre are moving along nicely to the point where we'll eventally go on at least a date or two that's an actual real date that we both feel is a date unlike the last two dates we went on that turned into not-dates.
and then there's alia. you remember alia, right? the one girl who works at starbucks that i don't like because i think she's kinda dumb? well, donna convinced me that she really likes me, even though she's going out with another guy or something. i play along because its fun to flirt, even when it's that grade school make fun of someone flirting. so one night, i was feeling really shitty about life and work because reid and sarah got into it and i thought i lost $1100, and i was sure i was going to get fired, i called her and asked if she wanted to hang out with me and drink at my place. i think we all know what that's code for. donna wasn't too pleased with me, but she made me realize that alia's not that bad. she's ditzy in a happy-go-lucky kinda way and she's a way better human being than candace will ever be. so for a few days, me and alia were just flirting over the phone, in starbucks, through text messages, it was fun.
and then, yesterday, that girl melissa or melanie or whatever the hell her name is, the one that knows reid and goes to school on the mainland and i only see her during the summers came in and the two of us were talking, whenever she comes in, it's always this silly flirty mood that comes over me. it's very self-deprecating and not uncomfortable for anyone. well, me and her are talking, i find out she's an english lit major and yeah, i'm in love. after she leaves, max tells me that she's slapping me in the face that she wants me to ask her to do something. i swear to god, i was just oblivious to it all. i thought she was just teasing me back when she says "oh yeah, i only come in here to talk to you." but i guess max sees something else that i can't see.
so that's the good side. apparently there're some girls who do like me.
at least in my head they do.
but yeah, earlier this week, i thought suicide would be an honorable way out.
on saturday, i got a phone call from sarah that reid called her a bitch on the salesfloor in front of koji and his friends. i wasn't about to come down there at that moment because i had a dinner i had planned with my parents that night. so i told sarah, let reid finish his shift, stay out of his way, and he'd be dealt with accordingly. so i went to go talk to rich about it because reid seems to like rich better than me now.
anyway, rich said that if i wanted to get rid of reid, he'd be willing to take him. i'm still torn about that. personally i'd prefer to grease him because he hasn't been straight with me for months now. he never told me that he got an interview with the apple store, that he got the job with the apple store, that he wanted to transfer to ala moana this badly... none of it came up. if he'd told me any of that, i'd have given him my blessings, but because he didn't want to tell me, then fine. and then on the mgs4 day, i know he returned something that was non-retail and that he tried to sneak it under my nose, but i handled it the wrong way. i know i did it wrong, and for that i appologize, but he used that as one of his catalysts to make it seem like he was a victim in my store. not cool either. any punishment that comes my way for it, i fully deserve. even if it ended up being my job, i wouldn't fight it because i was the only one in the wrong because of how i handled it. but aside from that, reid also lied to me about how the situation with sarah happened. i asked him, explicitly if he called sarah a bitch and he denied it. he even told me to ask koji, which i did, and koji confirmed it that reid said it. that really hurt me too. he lied right to me. i'm seriously more hurt than angry about all of this.
so yeah... i don't know what to do anymore. i need to talk to reid about it, i need to have him sign the write-up on it, but blane also wants to be there because if he's there, then the seriousness of it is that much higher. blane said he talked to reid about it, and it sounded like nothing more than a bunch of excuses, which is what he's full of. and i guess i've always known that too.
i even talked to daigle about that, and he had the same reaction that i had about rich wanting to take him in. reid may get along with everyone now, jason, bryce and bre, but what happens when he's working with them. what happens when he's working with bre and she's doing her thing and reid doesn't agree with it? i said that explicit example to rich and daigle said the exact same thing to me. what happens when reid and bre have a disagreement? it ain't gonna be pretty. rich thinks he can work it out of reid. i say let his hubris eat him alive.
part of that is because i still hold a grudge against rich, the other part is because i don't want to let me terminating reid affect my bonus. the part of me that wants to grease him is the part that wants vengence and to destroy him and not let him get any benefits that come from this company. plus, i really don't think he's good for the company in general. i think he's too smart and sneaky and conniving. i wouldn't be suprised if he had stolen from me. i have absolutely no basis for that, but i just wouldn't be suprised. it's always the smart ones that cause the most trouble.
that's been the most pressing thing on my mind.
plus, for a few days i thought i lost $1100, but it turned out to be a banking error because i'm stupid. that's all there is to it.
and then there's the issue of me not having max ready for an interview with blane. i didn't think it was going to be an interview so i'm entirely at fault for it. i didn't give max the right mindset or preparation to deal with a conversation with blane. i felt so horrible for max because he did nothing but embarass himself and i felt embarassed because that reflects poorly on me.
i think the one thing that saved me was that blane said i had a VERY good visit with john, the regional director. john said that my store is how all the stores should look for the upcoming visit with the divisional vice president. i thought i was very well prepared, and i think it showed because i had all the answers ready that he was looking for. although john spent most of his time talking to blane. oh well, blane was happy with me.
so, sarah's on vacation and because i've basically told ended reid's relationship with the store, i'm the only key holder in my store. it sucks, i've been going open to close everyday except for thursday when i closed, since monday. i did it today, i'm doing it tomorrow, sunday, monday, tuesday, friday, saturday, and probably sunday and monday the following week. and it's not like i'll have another key in except for wednesday and thursday so i can't even leave the store either. plus blane's coming back next week to talk to max again and hope max is better prepared. i wish i had a larger staff. i need to do more hiring. well, josh's gf came in looking for a job. maybe i'll hire her. i still need to call jon from asb too to see if he wants a job with me should sarah suddenly leave.
speaking of leving, donna's friend mike came in to my store. mike's the guy from lids, hat zone, and journey's. mike apparenly knows our DVP and was introduced to blane sometime ago. blane's slightly concerned that i'd leave to go work for mike. i don't want to, but if the money's right, then i'd have to go. the same way i treat my staff finding a better paying job is the same way i'd do it with myself. that's why i believe in free agency too. chase the money. blane gave me the talk about how he knows i have finacial obligations to myself but that sometimes the better money isn't always the better thing. i keep using the word "better" because i'm listening to the beatles song "getting better." anyway, off tangent. i was sincere when i first told blane about mike coming in to visit me that i wanted to stay with the company and that i want to stay with him. i love my job, i love what my staff is becoming, and i love what i have in hawaii kai.
but i guess it's good to hold some power over my employment even if mike never hires me or even offers me. it tells blane that other people know about me and that i'm open to more money.
�
�
