2008-08-18 - 8:19 p.m.
so this is a conversation i overheard... in my head...
"you know how i know you're gay?"
"because you're asking yourself a question in your head?"
"well, yeah, that and you're a total fucking fag when it comes to girls."
"you don't mean that... the fag part anyway..."
"yeah, i do. because i mean fag in that you're horrible at being straight."
"oh... yeah. i guess i am a fag."
i honestly had a conversation like that in my head today.
it was probably a lot less funny though...
and less coherent too because you know how when you talk to yourself you don't really form complete sentences because a lot of things don't need to be said because they're inherently understood because you don't really need to identify a lot of things that make up coherent speech?
is there another word for coherent?
did i even spell it correctly??
some questions will forever go unanswered...
fuckit, ima go look this shit up!
anyway, so today, i got to see all three of my favorite under-30 year old girls. hell, make that four!
it started when mel (that chick who in my mind is perfect for me) came in today. it was nice when she came in. i was already in conversation with some guy that always talks too much but is over all a very nice guy. he and i usually talk nerd speak about video games. so it was good because i didn't rush over there to talk to her like i normally would and fawn over her like i'm wont to do. so after a few more minutes of talking to that guy, i asked her if she was doing okay, i made a comment about her hair being re-colored (bonus puntos? menos puntos?), and then i joked with her about something stupid or other.
anyway, after i rang her up making sure that sarah wasn't going to c-block me again because she was still in the back doing something, i asked her if she wanted to go grab a quick cup of coffee. i don't think she got the hint at first, but eventually when i kept asking, she eventually said that she'd walk down there with me. so we had a nice little chat about her leaving tomorrow for school and about how shitty california is and how scary the area surrounding USC is. we talked about her majors (english and far east asian cultures, emphasis on japan) and then i told her the supplies joke. i almost gave her my phone number again, but i decided not to. it'd just make me sad that i wouldn't hear from her if i knew she got it. this way, if i don't know if she still has it from that one time i gave it to her, then it'd be okay. but she's coming back for good after this year, so all i have to do is make sure i don't get fired between now and the end of next school year.
yeesh... that's a pretty tall order...
and then, after that, i sped my ass down to shirokia ala moana to give bre her copy of "the elephant vanishes." i bought it for her because i love that book and i want to propagate good literature ("spread good books" for those of you who don't know big wurdz -- oki).
(...and no, i don't mean "spread" like how you spread your vaginal lips for my weiner, oki.)
so i gave bre a copy of that book which has my all time favorite short story ("on seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful april morning"). so that was me seeing another one of my favorite girls in the under-30 crowd.
and then i went to karate with donna (who doesn't count for the "favorite under-30" crowd, but still a favorite person on any other scale) and i saw chelsea from the coffee shop. i didn't make her laugh as much as last week when donna said i made her laugh like you laugh when your friend farts something fierce and locks the car windows so that i start to gag like i'm going to throw up. but i did make her chuckle a little bit i think. plus she smiled when we left. it could've had something to do with me turning around to smile at her as i was leaving too, but still; it was nice.
and then after that i went to kahala mall to buy sabrina's birthday present, a youth sized football. but on my way into the mall, i noticed that the chelsea i have a crush on now was working so i went back to my car and got the other copy of "the elephant vanishes" that i bought for her. earlier in the day we had a conversation about how she liked j.k. rowlings and dan brown. i've honestly got no problem with j.k. rowling because harry potter is fine for the audience it's aimed at, but dan brown is as overrated of an author as they come. he's in the same class as that asshole who directed the batman movies. the fucks his name? who gives a shit? (and the oscar goes too...)
that was a comment on who actually gives a shit, btw.
don't mind me, i've been drinking on an empty stomach.
so anyway, after i stopped in with the book for chelsea, i fagged out and didn't talk to her. i asked for a piece of paper and wrote a note: "to: chelsea from: someone with a good taste in authors"
and then i walked out... like a homofag.
is it possible to be worse at being straight than i am?
but yeah, that's my round up of seeing my four most favorite under-30 group of women for the day.
oh wellz...
i got scolded by blane today.
he probably wouldn't call it a scolding, but i do because it makes me feel better about it.
he wanted to talk to me about how i've been acting lately. he's seriously concerned about how negative i took the last visit (which went really well).
i tried to explain it to him that it's not that i want to get reamed, i just want to know what i need to do to improve as a manager. all they really talked about was how i need to make room in my backroom to make space for christmas deliveries. how does that make me a better manager? it might make me more concious of space, but it does nothing to tell me how to be a better manager as a person really.
blane tried to emphasize that i need to be happy with the victories that we as a team have. i was happy that the store did a great job. i even bought them pizza for it. but the problem for me was that despite that, i wasn't sure i got anything out of it as a person. i don't think anyone understands that except for jon in kihei. blane keeps referencing "low self-esteem" and that has nothing to do with this. my self-esteem issues lie more with my in-ability to score than anything else, and hardly reflect my ability to run my store. i joke that i'm a good fucking manager kinda tongue-in-cheek. i try to come off a little self-effacing when i do it, but i firmly believe it. the only reason why i say shit like that in a joking manner is so that i don't piss anyone off that i'm as arrogant as that sounds... even though i kinda am.
okay, the buzz is wearing off and i don't feel like typing anymore. i'm outs.
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