2008-08-28 - 8:42 p.m.
last night, after i wrote my last entry, i talked to bre on the phone for a few mintues. i had to ask her if she was pissed at me earlier yesterday because of my drinking. she was. i felt really bad about it. i never feel bad about what people think of what i do because i just don't care about other people's opinions a lot of the time. but for some reason, i care about what bre thinks.
frick...
i spent a good five minutes appologizing, not quite on the edge of tears, but just feeling really shitty about it.
and then, today, i was appologizing even more. i'm such a fag.
i don't know why either. i wish i could figure out why i'm so concerned with her opinion.
and this morning, alia walks up to me and goes "hey, this is me ignoring you." i don't think it bothered me, at the time because i was just in defense mode this morning, but i kinda wanted to tell her that it did bother me. i still want to do that infact just to see how she'll react to that. maybe i'll just act sad/mopey around her for the next few days. i can certainly do that. i think donna seriously thinks me and alia will end up together. she'd probably be a better option than either bre or chelsea or anyone else i know right now.
but yeah, my whole day's been more of an issue of just dealing with not knowing how to deal with bre being irked at me.
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