2009-06-08 - 12:17 a.m.
i'm reading a book called "Street Fighters" but it has nothing to do with work ('cuz then it'd be called "Street Fighter," singular, not plural). it's about the final 72 hours of Bear Stearns.
i honestly have no idea why i'm interested in this. i like to learn i guess. i kinda want to understand what's going on so baddly that i plan on buying another book tomorrow about the whole economic situation, not just bear stearns. i guess i just got tired of reading fiction 1/3 of the way through atlas shrugged (for the second time). it probably started when i read "it never rains in tiger stadium" in one day. i do that, i go through phases of what i feel like reading, fiction or non-fiction; biographies or sports books; current events or history. i'm like that i guess.
i think i hurt my knee running last night. it's kinda depressing because i have to take at least a day off, and i've found my new goal of 30-miles a week. it's attainable, but not too easy. i still need to push myself to reach it, but i know i can do it.
i've been getting pissed at gabe for the past couple of days. i feel really bad about it because he's not a bad guy, and he's got all the right intentions. it's not really pissed though, it's more just annoyed. i think i've got pms or something going on.
maybe i just need to get laid.
actually, that was a foregone conclussion having nothing to do with the pms.
i saw alia's new bf the other week. he was at starbucks visiting her, and i went to go get a coffee and saw him in there so i made conversation like i didn't give a shit he was dating her after me. i think she took it as a good sign because the next time i saw her she was really nice to me. really, i don't give a shit. like i told her (and the same thing i told carlie): i've washed my hands of you, i don't give a shit what you think of me or do to me because i've moved on.
speaking of carlie, i've got one more week to go to see if she's going to stick to her plan of waiting two weeks to talk to me. at least i think it's one more week, i kinda don't remember. nope, yup, it's one more week. sorry, typing what i think, very chain of thought.
i don't even know if that's how the phrase goes.
but carlie, yeah, i don't care about her either. she lied to me, she can go about ruining her own life and i won't care too much either way. does that make me a horrible person? that someone i cared for as a best friend and a little more than that i can just toss aside so easily? probably does. i could try to justify it by saying things like "she lied to me" "she's got less to lose by being my friend than i do" etc, but whatevers. i believe in self-preservation when it comes to me. i enjoy being selfish. i'll learn to get my way one day. i'll have a gf that i can wrap around my pinky and control the way we both want it. that didn't come out right....
fuck, i want something like a fucking danish. like an empanada or something. something cold and sweet. stupid ass sweet tooth....
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