2009-09-19 - 1:34 a.m.
The Agreement
What are you still doing here?
We had an agreement.
You wouldn�t stay here longer than you�re supposed to.
We agreed that once you came,
You�d stay here as long as you were scheduled for,
(A schedule you made for yourself)
And then you�d leave.
You know what this is doing, right?
It�s diminishing the value of our time together.
I can�t pay you anymore than I already am.
Times are tough, I�m not making as much as I was last year.
And you staying here, over what was agreed,
Means that every minute you�re here is worth less and less.
Not only that, but you know how complicated our relationship is.
When you spend too much time with me, you love me less.
We both know it�s true.
When you�re on vacation, and you�re gone for a whole week,
You can�t wait to come back to me.
But, like today, when you won�t go home even though it�s 4 am,
I know you hate me.
I know you resent what I do to you.
And it�s not my fault you�re like this!
Don�t blame me!
I heard you talking to the guy on the other end of the phone�
You were joking with him that if you were out of here by 2 am it�d be a good thing,
But then you called him back and told him you were going to spend the whole night�
�like you knew it all along�
�almost like, you enjoy putting us both through those awkward feelings of love and hate�
Why do you hold it against me?
I�ve been so good to you�
Stop ignoring me,
Pretending I don�t have a voice.
Please� leave me so you won�t stop loving me.
i thought this one up after i was at work for 18 hours on wednesday-thursday. the assignment was to do a poem with a strong sense of voice. a lot of the examples the teacher had for us were poems written in pidgin an' stuff li'dat. i don't write pidgin because i can barely speak it so i kept it in proper english, but i chose to use the voice of my store (my job) and the voice i heard in my head was alia's voice.
the biggest problem i have with this poem is it's ambiguity. can you even call it ambiguity if no one gets it but me? all it comes across as is someone talking to a lover, there's practically nothing letting you know it's my store talking to me. i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing though. it could be a good thing because it means everyone who reads it (male or female), it can mean something individual to them, unlike my first one which was kinda stuck in it's meaning. but, as the author of the poem, i kinda want people to get what i originally intended for it to be.
another weakness of this poem is that it was written between six and six-thirty in the morning so it's not too coherent at parts.
let me know what you think.... i really appreciated your comment sunstargirl and left it the way it was.
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